Now that the holiday is over

Tinder, I’m sorry, but you are going to be uninstalled again.

Thanks for the entertainment during the break but now I no longer have time to mindlessly swipe and chat anymore.

Thanks. It was fun.

Until the next boredom session.

It’s not that you didn’t see this coming…

You should have known better than to get involved with a divorced dad.

ESPECIALLY if you wrote it yourself in THE LIST!

*facepalm

Note to self

When in doubt.. Stop swiping!

That akward moment..

When you ‘bump into’ your ex..

..On Tinder..

..For the SECOND TIME.

Wait a minute..

He is in town?!

What I feel everytime I message you..

The thank you note to all the lovers/hook ups/right swipes of 2017

If 2016 was a year of ‘surviving’, 2017 was a year of ‘recovery’. And I have to say, it was a pretty successful one! And for that I have many people to thanks!

Besides all my family and close friends who were with me all along, these are all the lovers / hook ups / right swipes of 2017 I encountered* that in one way or another helped me re-discover myself..

CR, thanks for being a nice friend. And for all the hangouts. But we are friends and we should keep it at that.

N, I don’t know your last name sorry, thanks for that one very solid one night stand.

SWH, thanks for the one fine walk around NYC. It was exactly what I needed.

MTO, thanks for distracting me from my (then) shitty reality of being a third wheel on a trip.

RM, thanks for being my BFF (best fuck friend) ever!

A, another one that I don’t know the last name, thanks for…. err.. the Korean BBQ??

MG, thanks for one day becoming super successful with your start up and for telling people that I WAS your country advisor 😉

A, third one without a last name, thanks for the fun NYC night! But to be honest, we should have skipped sex.

SD, thanks for reconnecting after all these years and for being the best drunken Messenger buddy there is. I ain’t tripping on Acid with you anymore though!

KZ, thanks for the dick pics.. and dick videos. Your ‘assets’ have the highest airtime during my masturbation sessions 😉

JN, thanks for your pretty face

LJ, thanks for the 24 hour in Berlin filled with sex, drugs and some damn good music. Sorry for bailing on what would have been another random trip together.

AG, thanks for all the lovely dinners we share. You can still ask me our for a friendly foodie meet up you know? 😉

…and last but not least…

DG, thanks for making me feel again.

 

 

 

 

The things you have time to do when you’re not swiping on Tinder anymore..

• Read a book (or two)
• Actually binge watch Netflix non stop without taking swipe breaks
• Dinner with your girlfriends to talk about life and not just about who you just matched with
• Poop without your phone
• Sleep at least an hour earlier each night

But you also miss that occasional hit of validation when you have a match haha

“Which guy?”

Seems to be my default answer to most people’s question these days.

Yeah, despite my efforts of optimization and prioritization. It’s still kind of hard to keep up with the ever changing stories. Geez.. Even I’m confused sometimes 😂😂😂

Whoa

Dear Mr. Dick Pic #2,

Receiving your dick pic at 7am is just a bit… Much? 😛

I just woke up for God’s sake! 

Let me shower first and then I will attend to it later ok? 

Ups…

Is when one of your past Tinder match noticed that you forgot  to delete that half naked photo of yourself with your fuck boy that you put up as one of you Tinder pics to lure in a prospective 3rd person for a three way.

😂😂😂

Ups, you’re not supposed to see that.

DELETE!