Category Archives: dating

Note to self

Sex is NOT always necessary.

A fun random night should be remembered as a fun random night and not a night that ended with sub par meh sex.

Think twice next time!

Serious question..

Why do guys seem to wanna fuck me but don’t seem to wanna make me their girlfriend?

Is there something wrong with single guys these days? Or in my effort to avoid a relationship (for now) have I been acting too much like a ho?

Dear Fuck Boys*..

Do you really think you can just call or text me whenever you feel horny?

Just so you know, I am NOT a sex hotline you can reach anytime to help you jerk off.

If this is continuing I’m gonna open an official hotline and start charging. Fees starting at $2 / minute or $0.10 / text. And a surcharge of $50 when you cum. With this rate imma gonna be rich! 😎

—–

*The 3 dudes I’ve had flings with from 3 different time zones that happened to call me at the same day for three separate jerking off moments (waking up, coming home drunk, midnight before sleeping)

 

 

 

Dear Tinder dudes with only good first photo..

Seriously, just drop photo #2, #3 and #4.

Cause you’re chance of a right swipe went from “hmm.. maybe” on your first photo to “hell no!” just as I reached the second photo. 

And oh, don’t get me started on the remaining ones.

God Bless Tinder Plus’ Passport Feature

4 countries and already 6 lined up Tinder meet ups (+ past hook ups that I quite possibly will meet again).

….. and I haven’t even left my country!

Oh this is either going to be one hella interesting (or mentally confusing) 4 weeks…

 

Me on a date?

A cross between the obnoxiously intelligent and alcoholic one.

Great catch, right? 😉

That 3am holiday Tinder match

Tinder dude: We should meet up.

Me: Nope I’m done with all this Tinder shit. And it’s bloody 3am. I’m in bed and I am leaving tomorrow.

Tinder dude: Here’s a dick pic

Me: Damn it. Come over in the morning. 

(So much for my fatigueness with Tinder 😧)