Category Archives: random

How I feel about the World Cup

Thanks for keeping me occupied these days. For sure you’re making me stay away from random fuck boys and drunk texting he who shall not be texted.

🙌🙌🙌

Dear ‘Safe Zone’ BFF..

I’m contemplating whether or not rubbing ourself against each other after jumping into the pool at 4am in our under wear is somewhat entering non safe zone territory already.

But then again, we were drunk. So whatevs.

The key to it all

Anxiety?

Too much energy and can’t sleep?

Jet lag?

One solution: MASTURBATE!

Note to self

DO NOT PMS AND TEXT.

 

That akward moment..

When you ‘bump into’ your ex..

..On Tinder..

..For the SECOND TIME.

Wait a minute..

He is in town?!

Confirmed

Masturbating on the plane on economy is almost impossible. No matter how hangover and horny you are.

It will take some mad ninja skills to pull that off.

Stick business class ladies 😉

I’m broken hearted and horny*

So whoever gets to fuck me next is one lucky bastard.

And with this, the open call for those wanting to become my rebound is officially open.

*From 8 weeks of no sex. FUCKKKKKK. What a fool I was to wait this long for that dude.