Category Archives: random

Dear ‘Safe Zone’ BFF..

I’m contemplating whether or not rubbing ourself against each other after jumping into the pool at 4am in our under wear is somewhat entering non safe zone territory already.

But then again, we were drunk. So whatevs.

The key to it all

Anxiety?

Too much energy and can’t sleep?

Jet lag?

One solution: MASTURBATE!

Note to self

DO NOT PMS AND TEXT.

 

That akward moment..

When you ‘bump into’ your ex..

..On Tinder..

..For the SECOND TIME.

Wait a minute..

He is in town?!

Confirmed

Masturbating on the plane on economy is almost impossible. No matter how hangover and horny you are.

It will take some mad ninja skills to pull that off.

Stick business class ladies 😉

I’m broken hearted and horny*

So whoever gets to fuck me next is one lucky bastard.

And with this, the open call for those wanting to become my rebound is officially open.

*From 8 weeks of no sex. FUCKKKKKK. What a fool I was to wait this long for that dude.

The Cum Test

After swallowing your cum I lay there and started to think; the thought of sucking another man’s dick puts me off.

… That’s when I knew.

#decisionmade