Author Archives: queef and dave

Whoa

Dear Mr. Dick Pic #2,

Receiving your dick pic at 7am is just a bit… Much? πŸ˜›

I just woke up for God’s sake! 

Let me shower first and then I will attend to it later ok? 

Ok then

Now that I’ve gotten both side’s consent. Let’s get this Berlin double penetration 3sum WhatsApp group going!

Damn It

Someone is obviously top of mind when I started drunk texting saying cheesy things like I miss them. I have no recollection of this the next day but the well documented chat was undeniable. Haha.

Dear Mr. Bearded Banker

Don’t fall for me just yet.

You haven’t seen the crazy side of me. And when you do, I don’t think you’ll be able to handle it πŸ˜‰

Never forget!

Sleep > talking to boys.

No matter how funny the dude is or how convenient masturbating on the phone together was… 

YOU NEED TO SLEEEP!!! 😴😴😴

Dear Mr. “Hot Shot DJ”

1st date was a 24 hours party weekend in Berlin

2nd date will be a 7 days holiday in Bali 

Damn, that’s brave. And risky! πŸ˜‰

Ups…

Is when one of your past Tinder match noticed that you forgot Β to delete that half naked photo of yourself with your fuck boy that you put up as one of you Tinder pics to lure in a prospective 3rd person for a three way.

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Ups, you’re not supposed to see that.

DELETE!