Dear Asshole

Letting you sleep in my bed because you’re too drunk to go home does not mean you can piss a gallon of urine in it and then shit all over my bathroom.

The literal least you could’ve done was demonstrate some attempt to clean up your excreta and filth smeared all over the toilet, walls, tub and door, instead of totally bailing without so much as a note of apology for your complete loss of bowel control and urethral function.  As I do recognize that you may have a legitimate physiological disorder, which almost restrains me from calling you an inconsiderate prick of a guest, I would recommend you see a doctor immediately before you think about attending another public event again.  However, if all else fails, at least have the courtesy to take your pee/fecal-soiled underwear with you before leaving it for the next unfortunate host.

Also, expect an invoice from me regarding costs to replace my mattress.  Dick.

One response to “Dear Asshole

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